Only you can answer this question. It may help to talk to someone you trust—family member, close friend, health care worker, counsellor, or someone else who cares about you.
Ask yourself these questions; think carefully about what having sex means to you.
Do I really want to have sex?
Sex is more than the physical act. It is feelings, thoughts, and desires that can make us feel good. Sometimes sex is a negative experience, especially if you are not ready or don’t really want to do it.
It is your decision to have sex or not. If you don’t feel 100% sure, it is a good idea to say no. If your partner isn’t ready, respect their decision. Be true to yourself, rather than bending to pressure from others.
Why do I want to have sex?
Deciding to have sex is a personal decision. Each person has their own reasons to decide when they are ready for sex.
If your reasons to have sex are on this list, you may want to think again. These are all good reasons not to have sex. Respect yourself and your partner, and wait until sex is something you truly want for yourself.
- You’re lonely
- You’re drunk or high
- Someone else wants you to
- You think you owe it to someone; you think someone owes it to you
- You think everyone else is doing it; you want to fit in or feel popular
- You want to prove you are grown up—to yourself, friends or parents
- You see people having sex in videos and movies and think you should too
- You think that having sex will make the other person love you
- You think having a baby will be fun and you’ll have a baby to love you
- You want to prove that you’re “straight”
- You’re afraid to say no
- You think that having a baby will make your boyfriend or girlfriend stay with you
- Someone gave you gifts or money
- Someone promises to do something if you have sex with them
- You want to hurt someone else or pay them back